Life is good....but hard.

I was looking for a picture today to portray hard or tough, and I came across this quote on the internet. I want to tell you that when my brain is working right I realize that things aren't really that bad for me at this point in my life. When my brain is not looking outside into the world, I am a firm believer that everyone's "hard" is relative to their own experience. If you feel you are having a hard time, then that is your reality.

What do I know to be true? I know that I have my health, my family has its' health, I have a roof over my head, I have food in my cupboards, I have a job that I love, I have loving and supportive friends, I have an extended family that is there if I need them, I have mentors and a business support network that would stretch for miles if they all heald hands. WOW! I have a lot!

So why do I sometimes lament that I do not have enough love in my life? Why do I look to other things that seem so out of reach? Is this something that all human beings do....relative to their own existence and stature in the world? It must be that I am not alone.

If you have ever felt this way then let me know. Share with me how you have dealt with it and maybe we could work through it together. I feel very lost when I get into this mode of thinking. why is what I have already.....not enough.

I'm Proud of You

Today I am going to tell my children that I am proud of them!

The three of us have been through so much as a family in the last five years. Deaths - Divorce - Financial hardship - and the rest! It has been a real rough go. As the mother, and sole caregiver, I have been so concerned with the health of my children both mentally and physically. Now that I can look back on the years gone by, it seems that this task was all consuming. it was like a brick hit me in the head! I had been tightening the reigns so tight that that they had no breathing room. This is a trait of a mother living in the 2000's. It is such a scary time with all the society issues.

This week I have had to give my children quite a bit more responsibility than they have had in the past. I was VERY worried that they would not be able to cope. Let's put it this way...they had ZERO responsibilities before, and now they have 100% responsibility (just to give you an idea). They have proved me wrong and showed me that I can give them that added responsibility and not have too many worries...let's face it I am still a mother...that designation gives me a licence to worry.

Don't get me wrong, I offered them an incentive program, and have all the consequences in place for when they do not following the new rules. They are quite clear on all that. They have just met and exceeded my expectations this week and I feel like I want to shout it from the roof top that.....

I am VERY proud of my children!

What leads us to the edge?

The other day a bright young woman gathered up her little child, got on a bus, and rode through the night. Why did she do this? Where was she going? She came upon a bridge that passed over a major highway and she thought somewhere, somehow in her mind that jumping over that bridge with her small child in her arms would lead to - less pain - less suffering, and a better life. How things got so bad for her we may never know. It seems that the general public can never quite imagine how much pain someone must be feeling to take their lives to this level. They ask..Where was her family? Did the system fail her? Was anyone there to stop her?

Some of us however, know that edge. We've teetered on it yet come back a million times. We know what pain brings us to that edge, but we are thankful we have enough sense and conviction to think of the life we have and its' possibilities for improvement. In a split second we remember those that love us and support us through ANYTHING. We remember the child who is waiting for us at home and how much they are depending on us for protection, nourishment, and love. It is these thoughts that brings our minds back to reality. It is our faith-whatever that may mean. It is GOD. It is knowing that somewhere in the pain there is a story to be shared with others that may benefit from some word that you have spoken and a pain you have shared.

I have stood many times on the edge of the subway platform when I was much younger and thought to myself...I know how people could walk to the edge and jump over into the dark. Fast and quick...pain for a minute... and then nothing. It was never my destiny. I have always known that GOD has a plan for me that is enfolding and being revealed to me every day that I live. Knowing this makes me excited to see what the future will bring.