I feel like a woman!

I feel so womanly after I get my toes painted!

and...

No, these are not my toes

"THEY" say you should never look back

I still live in the same town as the 2 houses I once called home are situated. I never see one, yet ALWAYS see the other. When we would drive by it my little son used to forlornly state with his nose pressed up against the car window. Mommy why can't we still live in the peachy house? That is what he called it then and still calls it now, as it is a pleasant peachy beige colour on a beautiful pie shaped lot with big trees. It was very sad. I try not to drive by it as much when I am with the kids, so as not to induce a tug at our heart strings. It is better that way. One time about a year ago I drove by it and noticed there was a for sale sign proudly stuck on the front lawn. For one split second I thought...maybe I should buy it back. Then that voice came.

Wait for it...wait for it...BUT HEATHER, you must never go backwards. You must always go forwards.

We sold and left that little perfect peachy house when our marriage split up about 10 years ago. There were memories in that house, some I remember and most I do not. Most not good. The good ones were a memorial garden party for my moms passing, Shovelling a double driveway at midnight in the still of a winters night, and little kids running around growing up. That is about it. the rest I blocked out because it was too sad or painful. At the end of our time there I realised that the house was really just four walls that housed and unhappy family. We could have a house anytime anywhere and love would conquer all. That is how I disassociated myself from leaving my sweet home. In the end it was what was inside that was most important.

As the years go by, things in our past become sketchy and more desirable. We change or alter stories just a bit each time we tell them to make them more attractive. I know deep in my heart that going backwards is never an option. I can look back, but I must be brutally honest with myself as to why I am not still there and why I decided to move forward. moving forward to new adventures and new people, or new versions of old people. New opportunities.

I have so much to look forward too. So many exciting adventures. A new home possibly and a new love. A new close knit family and a new uncharted future. I can look back and remember, but I must never go back. Today I choose to move forward.